Work Load

Have you ever masturbated in public?

I realise it’s a strange question to ask, not to mention incredibly personal, but I’m curious to know just how many of you guys out there are doing it. The reason I ask this is because of what had happened a few weeks ago at work. I walked in on a client rubbing one off in our gym change rooms. I guess he was whipping up a post-workout protein shake.

I don’t know who was more in shock; he, for the wank interrupted, or me, for the weird way I saw him pleasure himself. Two-handed, one palm opposite to the other, like he was wringing out a dish cloth. It was a strange technique I’ve never seen before. At least the boy was blessed with a two-fist full of manhood.

Speaking to a friend online, I asked him the same question. To my surprise, he admitted that he, too, has done it. And at work, no less.

Apparently, at times when he finds himself alone in the office late evenings, he points his dick over to the ‘Guys With iPhones’ website and go double-clicking. I’d hate to see the state of his mouse.

So, isn’t he worried about getting caught?

“No, not at all,” he says nonchalantly. “We’re only a small office and I can look down the hall to see if anyone is coming.” What, apart from him? He didn't laugh; I guess the joke went over.

So, why do it?

“Why not? After a stressful day at work, a guy needs some release. And this is the best kind I know of. Besides, it’s healthier than, say, drinking alcohol or smoking a joint.” He has a point. “Have you done it?”

Have I done it? No. Will I do it? Not sure.

Masturbation, in general, is something that I find uncomfortable admitting to doing. Not sure why exactly, I guess you can blame my Catholic upbringing; spilling seeds, brimstones and such. So, the thought of pulling off anywhere but the comforts of my own bedroom/bathroom/toilet/garage makes me feel less inclined for some self-sexy time.

So, am I missing out?

“It’s exciting,” continues my friend. “The thought of getting caught is part of the thrill. I’ve had some of my best orgasms right here at my desk.” Well, at least no one can say he doesn’t do anything in the office. But has he done it anywhere else?

“I tried but it wasn’t the same. I even got caught once. And she didn’t look impressed. You wouldn’t think a nun could swear like that.” A nun? I didn’t dare ask. “So, no. I’ll just stick to work.”

So, will you ever stop? Surely, this is something you can get fired from.

“It might be, but you know what, if masturbating in my office is wrong, I don’t ever want to be right.”

Right.