Anything's Possible

There's something about predictions of the future that we as human beings seem to be eternally fascinated with.

From the enigmatic Nostradamus who is claimed to have foretold everything from The French Revolution to the Kennedy Assassination; to the late Sir Arthur C. Clarke who predicted the emergence of something he referred to as a 'global library', now more commonly known as the Internet, or Porn Library; and George Orwell who envisioned a future omnipresent totalitarian entity that in these days is no more better exemplified in the form of reality television series, Big Brother. History is peppered with soothsayers, prophecies and crystal-ball readings that forecast a multitude of future possibilities.

But what is it about these predictions that we find so captivating? Is it the idea of a better world, a better life that is the allure? A hope that, one day, we would all live in a Utopia filled with wonder, joy and, erm, spaceships? Or is it just our inherently strong desire to see what's around the corner, an early peek before the big reveal?

Recently published online, an article printed in 1968 holds some surprisingly accurate details of what life would be like in 2008. Titled "40 Years In The Future", author James R Berry wrote about cashless transactions, GPS units, phones with TV screens, space tourism and even newspapers that you can read on a screen; things that may sound like common fare today, but 40 years ago were the stuff of sci-fi fantasies.

Which made me wonder, what kind of things will we see 40 years from now? What kind of future-fantastic things can we expect?

Well, I've looked into my crystal ball, jumbled my runes and divined the tea leaves at the bottom of my cup, and have come up with the following predictions for 2048, all with a gay bent, of course:

PERSONAL FORCEFIELDS. People are now individually equipped with an invisible, impermeable barrier that protects in all sense of the word and takes the term of safe sex into a completely different meaning. Just think of it, those awkward moments at the height of passion are forever eliminated.

MIXED DNA. Same sex couples are now able to combine their individual DNA without the need for conventional reproductive means to produce an offspring in their likeness. Brad Pitt and Colin Farrell would surely have the most gorgeous baby in the history of mankind; Iggy Pop and Michael Jackson, not so much.

HOLOGRAPHIC PERSONALS. Gone are the days of grainy pixelated pictures that one must do neck acrobatics with in order to view properly, personal ads of the future will all come with holographic images. Not only can potential partners be viewed head-on but now also back-to-front, upside down and, well, any which way you like. Be warned though: reports of holograms with heads attached to disproportionately-sized bodies also increases.

BIO-ORGANIC GAYDARS. No longer relying on subtle cues and secret handshakes, implanted bio-organic gaydars will soon take the guessing game out of finding out. Not only will you know whether the person you may be interested in is gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, intersex or anything else in between, but this sophisticated little implant will also let you know if they're single, attached, in an open-relationship, or just way too drunk to care or remember.

GAY WORLD. Human civilisation finally becomes an all accepting society with prejudice and bigotry eliminated. Gay marriages are not only legalized but common, but also are gay divorces. Adoptions are open to all sexualities and children are not preferentially provided. Gender identity and sexuality studies become a compulsory subject in all schools which results in youth suicide rates plummeting to zero. There are openly gay leaders in several countries and the world has even seen the installment of the very first gay pope. Equal rights are provided to all.

Okay, so perhaps these things seem a little too fantastical even by today's standards. I mean, who would be comfortable walking around in a forcefield all day? Or be willing to replace an implant that's malfunctioned? I know I probably wouldn't...

But that last one sure sounds great, doesn't it?

Well, whatever happens and however fascinating, there's one thing about the future that's certain: anything IS possible.

Here's hoping.

Protect Us From Sins... And Hot Cross Buns

I'm breaking tradition this year - as well as my poor Catholic mother's heart - and heading out for some feet shuffling and beer imbibing during the Easter long weekend.

The event: Final Witness Protection Party. Ever.

Punters


More Punters


Skanks with cream


Official Party Crack

I hear there's going to be some Hot Cross Bun Wrestling at midnight, too. Boy, looks like I'm getting in early for those sins come next Easter.

See you for the debauchery at Roxanne's Parlour this Saturday!

Fart Jokes Kill Me!

Apologies for another YouTube-centric post, but this stuff is G.O.L.D.... Enjoy!

Crazy For You

Did a whole month really go by just like that?

I've been so pre-occupied with trying to settle back into the swing of things and working as many shifts as I can to payback all those holiday loans I've accumulated, that I completely skipped the month of hearts and even missed the leap day.

In any case, nothing interesting happened. Well, besides the fact that I've now come to a realisation that a once-promising relationship has completely degenerated into something completely dysfunctional.

It made finding the below draft post bittersweet - not to mention ironic. How much things change in only a few weeks.

* * *

The wedding went well.

The nuptial that was supposed to start exactly at 3pm was delayed, expectedly, by half-an-hour. And it wasn't the bride that the people were waiting for. She was ready in time. No, it was everyone else.

Everything was so hectic right up until the last minute. If it wasn't for misplaced pairs of dress shoes, bridal party members going missing, and even formal ties needing last-minute extensions because they were far too short, it seemed that almost anything and everything were going pear-shaped.

But the moment my sister began making her way up the church aisle that was all forgotten. She looked so radiant and so happy that it was all I could do not to cry to see her smile so beautifully, especially knowing how stressed she had been for the last few days. I've never ever seen her so beautiful - and deep inside, I felt a tremendous amount of happiness for her, as well as a momentary pang of jealousy. She found her "the one".

Once the ceremony and reception were over, bridal party and sundry held a low-key after party at the resort venue. We had beer, karaoke, singing and lots of laughing.

I was buzzing that night, buoyed by the euphoria of the earlier evening events and plenty fueled by liquid persuasion. I flitted from person to person; making conversations and sharing jokes. It was between shots of beer that I came to sit next to Zanjoe and as soon as I did, I knew I was in for something special.

He was the groom's second cousin and although I had seen him in passing, this was the first time that we actually got chatting. I liked him immediately and I was completely intrigued - he was guarded and mysterious. A different kind of beat suddenly started skipping in my chest.

We stayed sitting next to one another, and it could have been the alcohol (goodness knows we were pretty drunk by then), or it could have been the growing familiarity; whatever it was, we somehow found our legs intertwined, propped up on the chairs in front. We didn't care who saw.

As the night wore on to early morning and the alcohol flowed endlessly, the group became more and more risque. A round of truth and dare suddenly saw everybody jump into the nearby pool, fully clothed - and then promptly strip into nothing but underwear. Zanjoe and I didn't hold back, taking it a step further. Skinny dipping isn't for the faint-hearted and I was glad to find a partner in Zanjoe.

Groping hands, some pushing and shoving, and suddenly we wear locking lips... a full moon shining in the clear, ebony sky, casting a glow below on a murky pool full of naked drunkards... and two boys in full embrace. Pulling away for a much-needed breath, I looked into Zanjoe's deep brown eyes and felt that familiar heartbeat skip once more.

"Nice to meet you, Joshua."

I could only manage a smile before he leaned in again to kiss some more.

* * *

That magical evening occurred December of last year. Zanjoe and I didn't get together that night, despite the instant closeness we shared. In fact, it would take several more weeks of sporadic communication and forced contact until we eventually became "official". The couple of weeks we spent together were some of the most memorable moments of my trip. Separating didn't prove easy but we both knew we'd see each other again.

Or so I thought.

Long-distance relationships rarely work - and for good reason. It's hard and terribly challenging. And it seems neither two of us were up for the challenge.

Zanjoe is someone special that I will always hold dear to my heart, but I guess, our timing just wasn't right. It's like that Barry Manilow song... "we had the right love at the wrong time".

And speaking of which, the music clip above is of an overseas punk rock outfit called Sponge Cola, who sings a cover of the song that would probably forever remind me of Zanjoe: "Crazy For You".