Gay Ol' Time!

One of the things I didn’t expect about being gay is the terrible lack of ceremony. Think about it. Our straight counterparts have engagements, weddings and even baby showers, but for those of us who live the “alternative” lifestyle, there really isn’t much to look forward to. Or at all.

Sure, there are birthdays—the ubiquitous equaliser—and these days I guess some lucky gays are now also able to celebrate their marriages, even births of their kids, but for the majority of us single homosexuals, what do we have? Not even a ‘coming out’ party.

Having been privy to the growth of their relationship, I’ve been present in all of my sister and brother-in-law’s ceremonies.

I was there for their engagement (a house party) and at both of their two weddings (first an intimate civil ceremony and then a lavish extravaganza event overseas). I was even there for my sister’s hen’s night (a male revue show – that was loads of fun). Then afterwards, there was the baby shower and when he was born, my nephew’s christening.

In all of these events, I was there; present and in most cases, even helped organise. And each time, I was amazed by the amount of people who came to celebrate my sister and brother-in-law’s momentous life occasions. The love and support was palpable.

It made me think of the disparity we, as gays, further experience when not following these “traditional” paths. Why can’t we, too, mark these kinds of occasions? Why can’t we rejoice in the same way? What are we really missing out?

Certainly at times I have felt a little jealous; most especially when my sister and brother-in-law celebrated their vows in the presence of hundreds (and I mean HUNDREDS) of people. It was a massive statement about their love for one another that they were allowed to make. That was when I really felt I understood the most basic argument that is pushing the fight for gay marriage: the equality in recognition and validation. That it should be a statement allowed to be made by all, regardless of sexuality. I mean, that’s only fair. Isn’t it?

But in any case, this post wasn’t meant to be about my stance on a subject that others have already contributed thousands of words to.

No, all I really wanted to share is the fact that in spite of not being able to celebrate the kind of ceremonies my sister and brother-in-law have had the privilege to, there are still momentous occasions that I can rejoice in.

My upcoming 30th birthday is one of these.

I’m planning a party and today, I’ve booked the venue and the date. It’s still about six weeks away but already I’m excited. Not for being able to make any kind of statement (because there's none to make, except getting older) but because for the very first time in years, I’ll be able to gather all those who are dear to me and share with them my very own special occasion. And of course, purely and simply, to have a gay ol’ time!