Training For Melons

So about October of last year, I was in pretty serious training mode trying to look my best for an upcoming holiday. I was motivated. I was determined. And aside from the occasional slip with alcohol and a handful of chocolates now and then, I was pretty disciplined. I was resolute on achieving my super fantastic gym body.

And I got there; stripping my body fat levels down to single figures as well as putting on a few kilos of pure muscle on my relatively small frame. It took lots of sweats, plenty of grunts and a heap load of persistence. It was the best I've ever looked.

Now, fast forward six months and I find a softer, fatter and a much lazier version of my former fabulous pre-holiday self.

It's not like I didn't try. I jumped straight onto the gym floor pretty much as soon as I'd stepped off the plane to get rid of the excess holiday baggage. I pumped the same weights. I ran on the same treadmills. I went to the same aerobic classes. But nothing.

No improvements, no change in the last three months since jumping back on that fitness wagon. If anything, I'd gotten worse. When not out eating junk and imbibing beer, you could probably find me actually training. Even then, it's only half-heartedly and only once or twice a week. The problem is that I no longer had anything to work towards. Sure, there's my health as the ultimate goal, but I need something more tangible. A definite line on the horizon.

This is where my friend Simon comes in. A budding photographer, he is looking to diversify his portfolio of landscape shots to include studies of portraits and human movement images.

Simon: Can you help me?
Me: With what?
Simon: Can you be one of my models for a new portfolio?
Me: Erm...
Simon: C'mon, please, I'm desperate!
Me: Well, since you make it sound so enticing...
Simon: Thanks!
Me: What is it exactly that I need to pose for?
Simon: Oh, I'm gonna surround you with fruit. And you're gonna be semi-naked. It'll be awesome. You still workout, right?
Me: Well, more or less...

I'm on my second day of a strict training regime.

I'm sore, I'm tired and damn, I'm hungry. But boy, I feel fantastic. I'm motivated again and I'm feeling that same crazy passion for the gym I had months ago. Just as well. I only have 12 weeks to get the temple looking good again... or Simon is gonna have a hard time finding watermelons in the middle of winter, you know, to hide all the flab.

Sure, he's smiling. But the bastard already looks lean...
and clothed.