Lost In Translations

For the last couple of months, I've been working on translating a series of mobile phone text messages as a favour for a friend. The SMS have all been sent by the estranged husband of my friend's niece and documents, frankly and vicariously, the acrimonious breakdown of their relationship. It's an interesting, if not a draining, experience as I attempt to accurately interpret each message that range wildly from desperate and begging to nasty and abusive. Clearly, he isn't coping very well with their separation.

But the thing that gets me, aside from the spiteful words and terrible sentiments being passed on, is that this man clearly still has feelings for his wife. He pleads for her to speak to him and to see her and the kids and even offers his assistance if she ever needs it. It seems that it's only when he doesn't get a favourable reply that he turns nasty on her.

I often wonder at what point in a relationship do things start to go sour. Is there a flash-point event involved or is it more gradual, the build-up of tension and erosion of respect? Just when do you stop from having your good side show that is so persistent at the beginning and start being less than warm and downright nasty to the other person? Working on these translations has definitely resonated that curiosity.

For me, in my limited personal experiences with relationships, it has often been a case of what I've dubbed as my "three-month itch". Basically, at the point when the honeymoon phase of a relationship is about over, I get restless and invariably break-up with the other person. I've already explained previously the chief reason for this but put simply, it's because of the fact that I get real involved from the very beginning and often, I find the response lacking. It's not something I'm blaming on anyone else but rather, one of those unfortunate character traits that I need to work on. In any case, at least I'm glad that most, if not all, of my break-ups have been amicable and I remain on speaking terms with my ex's. I'd hate to go through the pain and stress that my friend's niece and her husband are going through.

Oh, and I forgot to mention the reason for needing to translate said text messages. It's legal: to make it easier, potentially, for lawyers to understand in English the SMS that have been sent to my friend's niece, in the event that they need to be used as evidence in Family Court. Pretty full on, huh?